I was watching Charles Stanley on TV this morning—you know, one of those televised Sunday morning church services.  His topic was sinning against God, with special attention being paid to sexual sin.  I personally don’t differentiate between sins—it’s all the same to me (and to God, I suspect).  But, he chose to focus on this, and that focus gave me something to blog about!

 He said that sexual sin involved certain consequences, among them, low self-esteem, emptiness, and shame.  And this blanket set of consequences reminded me of a little something I read in a book by Lauren Winner.  She wrote of the “lies” church folks told her concerning sex—the feelings she would have and the overwhelming sense of regret she’d experience.  Another blogger (Nick P.) summed up her thoughts nicely:“The first lie is that pre-marital sex is guaranteed to make you feel lousy. Lauren suggests that we be honest and admit that it isn’t. Many people who are Christians can have sex outside of marriage. Some will regret it, but not everyone will. This is obvious on the face of it. If this were not enjoyable, why would people keep doing it? Since when were our feelings on an activity a barometer of whether or not it was right to do so? What’s the point in God giving us laws in Scripture if our feelings are enough? Now I realize there is some validity in the natural law, but I also place great emphasis on the prepositional truth that has been revealed in Scripture. If we tell people they will feel terrible though and they don’t, will they not doubt us in other areas? “Well, the pastor said I’d feel terrible and I feel great. I wonder what else he’s been less than honest about.” We need to realize that sin can bring pleasure. After all, if it didn’t, we wouldn’t do it.

Nick brings about an important point here—one that Quakers have always recognized (even if they don’t always do so today!)—our feelings cannot be a barometer for what is right and what is wrong.  That is the worse kind of ass-backwards logic I can imagine.  Our hearts are flawed, so it follows that any decisions based upon emotion alone (notice I said alone—I am not saying emotions should not be involved) will likely be flawed as well.

So, it would be better not to lie to people when discussing the consequences of sin.  Will you be letting God down?  Yes.  Will you be breaking the law?  Maybe.  Will you feel terrible during or after your sinful activity?  Not necessarily.  I loved having pre-marital sex, and I liked getting high even more.  So an argument based on “bad feelings” would have been useless to me.  Instead, talking about my sexual safety, health, the dangers I put myself in, and the worry I put God (and probably others) through would have been a more honest argument as to why I should have stopped.  It would behoove ministers like Stanley to consider this angle—his heart is in the right place (at least I feel like it is!), but his logic is flawed, and ultimately his message is weakened because of that.   

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