Poor Tony the simple churches guy.  Last night, he had to listen to me rant about my anger and disillusionment with the NC Quaker community.  This is a complaint he hears from me all the time—albeit in different forms.  But the underlying point is always the same: I am mad at certain people for the way they think and behave, and because of that I refuse to participate in any activities that involve these folks.  And worse, I don’t support his efforts to communicate with these people, nor do I believe his work will make a difference.  It’s not that I don’t believe in him—it’s that I don’t believe in them.

Well, I know there is a glaring inconsistency here—that I preach reconciliation and love and do not appear to be heeding my own advice.  But allow me to explain my grouchiness.  It’s not that I hate these folks—I don’t.  The real problem is that I’m afraid of them.  See, the last time I was in their midst, even in their good graces, I offended them by going my own way.  I felt that I had to go in a direction that was consistent with God’s leadings—this in the form of how Hillel does “church”, the side I was taking with certain issues, and even the way I presented myself as a Pastor.  I told Tony the simple churches guy that I had to unplug from the larger Quaker institution in order to realize myself.  But, this hasn’t sat well with certain above-mentioned people, and it’s made me unpopular—I’ve been criticized, humiliated, and judged for this move.  And because of that, I am afraid to be around them—I don’t want to be “spat at”, so to speak.  Therefore I avoid them. 

I realize this is probably an immature way to handle this problem.  But the wisdom, grace, and patience exhibited by Tony the simple churches guy and others (like Max the Quaker guy), is something, I suspect, that comes with age.  I am simply too young, I think, to know how to act the way they do.  So instead I act like a close-minded hot head.  It’s hard for me to forget things (Temple Grandin, the famous autistic scientist, says autistic people have a very long memory when it comes to trauma), and even harder to let things go.  But I honestly believe I have forgiven them for their actions—but as I know they haven’t changed their ways, I am not ready, at least at this time, to put myself in their harmful path again.  Perhaps this really comes down to trust.  I don’t trust them, but really, does forgiveness necessitate trust?  I just don’t know…

What exactly is a Christian?  It’s the theme throughout the postings on this blog.  It’s a question that I think should be quite simple to answer, and yet it isn’t (at least for some).  Well, John Hagee turns this around and offers up who is not a Christian.  He wrote the words used as the title for this posting.  You may be wondering how I know this—well, I was reading his book.  Normally, I don’t pay attention to such rubbish (yes, I’m still reading the latest Harry Potter book and have gleaned some new vocabulary words!), but I knew that whatever was in his book was bound to anger me, so I took a peek.  Suffice it to say that I got what I was looking for, and perhaps deserved—I really should know better than to read this stuff. 

He made his judgmental proclamation in reference to the homosexuality “problem”.  This topic just happens to be the problem de jour for a large number of North Carolina Quakers.  It threatens to split up an already fragmented Friends community.  At the heart of the debate, I believe, is really the question of who is and who isn’t—a Christian, that is.  If you take the Hagee view, then those of us who don’t are doomed (in more ways that one).  But I think a more important question to ask is whether or not it’s our job to make such judgments.  I’m not so sure that it is.  Paul is pretty clear about that in Romans: “So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? … Forget about deciding what’s right for each other.  Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is… So let’s agree to use our energy in getting along with each other.  Cultivate your own relationship with God…” (Taken from the Message, Matthew 14).  Now, I’m addressing the Christian community here (although I believe we are to get along with everyone).  Our job is not to point fingers and say who’s in and who’s out based upon interpretation of Scripture.  Armed with a point of view like Hagee’s, we could condemn a lot more than just homosexuals—women who serve in the ministry, men who treat their wives as equals, those who don’t baptize with water.  You get the point.  But armed with a point of view such as Paul’s, we realize that what is important is getting along—doing that will accomplish a lot more than bickering and hurtful condemnation.  And it will free up our hearts to let God do the work.

I’m going to tell a little autism story here that will make my final point.  When I found out I had autism, I told Ernest the autism guy that I wanted to meet others who had my type of autism—Asperger’s syndrome.  He said something that has really made an impression on me: sharing a condition does not mean that there will be kinship.  That doesn’t mean there can’t be, but it does mean that it will not come automatically.  I found out the truth in this statement recently—I met another “Aspie”, and he drove me crazy!  But maybe it’s because we share many of the same characteristics.  Although Aspie’s differ from one another, they share some unique quirks that tend to annoy and even baffle neurotypicals.  So I decided that in order to have kinship with this person, I’d have to work at it.  I’d have to stop judging him, and look past the things I didn’t like.  I’d have to appreciate him simply because we share the same plight—that is what creates kinship.  And so it must be with those who make up the Christian community.  Simply because we love and follow Jesus does not mean we will be in agreement and have automatic kinship.  Perhaps it should, but we’re dealing with people here, and that means we’re dealing with flaws.  In order to be a cohesive unit of Christ followers, we’re going to have to work at it.  That means not judging each other, or accusing those who don’t believe exactly as we do as not being Christians.  The fact that we’re here, serving Christ, should mean something.  No, we will never agree on how to interpret Scripture, but is that really important?  I don’t think so; I think what’s important is that we love Jesus and have chosen to follow him.  If someone is doing something “wrong”, and they really love Christ, than I believe he will let them know.  It’s his job, not ours.  That doesn’t mean that he won’t use us to assist in that process, but we must make damn sure that it’s his will, not ours.  During the Quietist period in Friends history, Quakers waited a long time—months sometimes—to give a message to their fellow believers.  They were so concerned that it was God’s message being spoken and not theirs that they waited and waited to speak.  Perhaps we should take a leaf out of their book when “advising” our brothers and sisters in Christ.  But saying that they are not Christians because of the way they read the Bible doesn’t sound like God’s direction to me.  So our job is not to condemn, judge, or make someone’s life more difficult than it already is—it’s to see past the things we don’t like, or don’t think may be consistent with our view of Scripture, and kindle the kinship that exists among followers of Christ.  If the Quakers in North Carolina busy themselves with that task instead, then perhaps a split is avoidable.

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