Pastor's Corner 09 Oct 2006 08:29 pm
Thoughts on Jesus Courtesy of the Wu-Tang Clan
Recently, I was driving down the road—the windows were down, the music was up, and the Wu-Tang Clan did their thing. Now, whether or not it’s appropriate for a pastor to listen to the Wu-Tang Clan is beside the point. I say it’s beside the point because I suspect that I probably shouldn’t be listening to them—they rap about violence and rarely have a song that isn’t peppered with every curse word known in the English language. But, as I was listening to them that day, I thought about my relationship with Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I’m dating Jesus—I mean that instead of being truly committed to him, say the kind of commitment one finds in marriage, I am simply “seeing” him. I love Jesus, I really do. But I don’t seem to want to give up the things that would perhaps enable me to really make that commitment to him. I don’t feel compelled to give up my own colorful language, particular shows and books, certain bands I still enjoy (the aforementioned included), and a ton of other things. This is not about being “saved”. It’s about really turning my life over to him. I’m not sure what my problem is—I guess it goes back to that Donald Miller thing about being in a world full of mirrors that only reflect me. I’m just too selfish. And yet, “dating” someone does not imply that love is not there—as I already said, I really do love Jesus. But what I should desire is what Jesus desires for me—my only goal should be to please God. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:15 that
“Christ died for all so that those who live would not continue to live for themselves. He died for them and was raised from the dead so that they would live for him”.
I want to change, and yet I don’t. I think sometimes that I can use my “pitfalls” to a ministerial advantage. Gee, what churchophobic person wouldn’t want to hang with a pastor who likes Wu-Tang? But I also suspect that my ways alienate other people—the kind of people that perhaps don’t want their pastors to live like me. I don’t know. I just can’t seem to figure out who I’m supposed to be as a follower of Christ…
on 29 Oct 2006 at 11:52 am 1.Amanda said …
I was just explaining to a friend the other day about a dilemma that seems similar to yours. I think about the things that I should do to give myself more completely to Jesus, and I dream about the kind of person I might become if I were to do that, and the possible positive effect I might have on those around me. I realize what a better servant to the Lord i would become. I realize that I really like that idea, I do want to become a better servant and honor God and serve and love those around me. But I don’t want it enough to actually make the sacrifices and changes necessary. I do desire to love and serve the Lord, but that desire is not passionate. So, i’ve realized that I need to start at the beginning. I need to actually desire the desire to change! And, I’ve only just realized (thanks again to Donald Miller), that that desire for the desire can’t come from me. I can actually ask God to begin creating that desire in me. And I have a sneaky feeling that when I do that, I had better hold on to my hat because as we all know, when we ask God for something, He promises to deliver…and it’s usually in a way I would never expect. So, hold on to your hat April!, you’re in for a wild ride…